The Meaning of Delayed Gratification

Delaying gratification means prioritizing a long-term goal over an immediately achievable one. Resisting the temptation of instant gratification can yield significant benefits that outweigh the challenges. The good news: There are ways to develop impulse control.

Delaying Gratification in Everyday Life

Suppose you're making great efforts to lose weight on a healthful diet. What do you do at the office party when offered one of those secret-recipe cookies that Izzy in accounting makes? If you give in and eat a few, chances are good that you'll have more—and then become so discouraged that you give up. What can follow is a constant cycle of negativity that can prevent you from improving your health altogether.

But you will have enjoyed that flavor and texture—even though you've had those cookies before—for a few minutes. It's a steep tradeoff.

However, if you manage to resist and spend the evening munching on carrot sticks, you'll receive an even greater reward down the line: shedding unwanted pounds and improving your health.

This ability to prioritize a long-term goal is considered central to self-control, and its development throughout childhood is associated with positive outcomes in adulthood.

The Stanford Marshmallow Experiment

In a classic psychology experiment from the 1970s, psychologist Walter Mischel placed a treat in front of children and offered them a choice: They could enjoy the one treat now, or wait a brief time to get two snacks instead. When the experimenter left the room, many of the kids immediately ate the treat, but some were able to resist, earning themselves two rewards.

Mischel then demonstrated an association between the kids who were able to delay gratification and several advantages later on over the kids who simply could not wait. The children who had waited for the treat performed better academically years later than kids who ate the treat right away. Those who delayed their gratification also displayed fewer behavioral problems and later had much higher SAT scores.

Why Is It So Hard to Wait?

Despite the adverse effects, humans seem to be wired for instant satisfaction. Contemporary psychology offers a few different explanations:

• According to evolutionary psychology, uncertainty about future rewards makes delaying gratification a challenge. In other words, we don't know when these long-term rewards will arrive—if they even arrive at all. This helped our prehistoric ancestors survive in a world where resources were unpredictable. They took advantage of the opportunities as they occurred because they might not be available later.
• Cognitive psychology chalks it up to cognitive biases such as temporal discounting, hyperbolic discounting, and the present bias.
• Neuroscientists explain that the rewards processing and impulse control centers of the brain are still developing into early adulthood, making instant gratification particularly desirable for adolescents and young adults.

Other factors can include personality traits, mental health, social circumstances, work situations, and other individual characteristics.

How to Increase Your Ability to Delay Gratification

Some strategies that might help you improve your ability to delay gratification include:

• Giving definitive timeframes: Providing feedback on just how long someone will have to wait for something can be beneficial. Train stations might post wait times, for example. Teachers might tell students a promised reward will arrive Friday if they stay on track today. A parent might tell a child, "Don't eat that cookie. We're going on a picnic at noon, and you can have two with your friends right after lunch."
• Setting realistic deadlines: People often set unrealistic deadlines or benchmarks. For example, a person with prediabetes might vow to consume absolutely no candy for an entire year—setting themselves up for failure. A more achievable goal, such as resisting candy during the week but enjoying your favorite dark chocolate on Sunday, is more likely to produce success.

A Word From Verywell

Delaying gratification certainly isn't easy, especially if we are not sure if the sought-after rewards will ever happen. However, this ability to put off immediate desires to pursue long-term goals just might be a critical part of success. Although you might not always be able to resist instant gratification, science says that trying a few new strategies and working on your willpower are worth the effort.