Reality Principle and Sigmund Freud

Have you ever had a sudden urge to do something you know is wrong? Maybe you’ve thought about grabbing a shirt from the store and just walking out the door without paying for it because the line at the register was too long and you didn't want to wait. If the thought popped into your head, what kept you from stealing the clothing?

According to Sigmund Freud, the part of our personality that makes us want to do something impulsive is the id, while the structure of our personality that deals with the demands of reality is called the ego. Freud coined the term “reality principle” to explain how the ego prevents you from immediately giving the id what it wants.

Let’s talk about Freud’s reality principle and explore how the ego operates out of the reality principle, while the id operates out of the pleasure principle.

The Ego and the Id

Freud said that the id always wants instant gratification for its needs, demands, and urges. If we acted according to what our id wants, we may have snatched that shirt we liked at the store instead of standing in line to buy it. The id is ruled by the pleasure principle—the idea that our impulses need to be fulfilled immediately.

The ego is the part of our personality that steps in to make sure that the id’s desires are met in effective and appropriate ways. The ego is ruled by the reality principle.

Freud said that in this process, the ego delays the id's energy until it can be released at a more suitable time and place. It's this pause that forces us to think about the risks, requirements, and outcomes of making decisions based on what our id wants. The ego doesn't try to block the urge of the id; it just makes sure that the desires are met in ways that are safe, realistic, and appropriate.

Here’s an example of the ego and id in action. Jayden, a college freshman, has a big math test tomorrow, but his friends are having a party tonight. He wants to go to the party and have fun (the id's desire).

Through the reality principle, Jayden thinks about the consequences of going out instead of studying (the ego's reasonable approach). He decides that he can go to the party until 9 o’clock, but then he has to come back to his dorm to study for the rest of the night.

Jayden’s ego regulated the id through what Freud called a secondary process. In this example, Jayden’s id wants to forgo studying altogether and just go have fun at the party for the night. Jayden’s ego considers the reality of the situation and finds a compromise (going to the party for a short time, then coming home to study) that will let the id reasonably get what it wants.

Reality vs. Pleasure

The reality principle and the pleasure principle are forever at odds with each other. The ego is often called an “executive" or “mediating" role in personality. The ego constantly engages in reality testing, in which it must come up with realistic plans of action that can satisfy the id’s needs.

Freud said the relationship between the id and the ego was like that of a horse and rider: the horse represents the id, which is ruled by the pleasure principle. It gives you the energy to satisfy your needs and desires. The ego is the rider that’s constantly tugging on the reins of the id to steer you to act in ways that are acceptable and appropriate.

According to Freud, a healthy ego leans on the reality principle to control impulses and delay the gratification of a desire until it can be met appropriately. A healthy ego is a key part of our psychological development and a hallmark of a mature personality.

Throughout childhood, kids learn how to control their urges and behave in socially acceptable ways. Studies have shown that children who are better at delaying gratification may have more well-defined egos because they tend to be more concerned with social appropriateness and responsibility.

The Marshmallow Test

One of the most well-known experiments that showed the ego and id at odds was the “marshmallow test.” In the 1970s, researchers at Stanford University were studying delayed gratification in preschool-aged children. They used treats like animal cookies and pretzels as kid-friendly rewards to test how well children could wait to get something that they wanted.

In the most famous part of the study, the kids were told they could have a small reward right away (immediate gratification) or two small rewards if they could wait until later (delayed gratification). The first treat was a marshmallow. The second reward would either be another marshmallow or a pretzel stick, depending on which food the child liked better.

The researcher put the first marshmallow reward on the table in front of the children and reminded them that if they could wait 15 minutes, they would get two treats. The researcher left the room, and the child was observed to see if they would give in to the urge to have the treat or wait until the researcher returned to get double the reward.

The conflict between the ego and id was apparent as the children came up with various techniques (like covering their eyes with their hands) to try to distract themselves from the tempting treat until the time was up. Left on their own, the children grappled with the choice to satisfy the id's desire to have the treat right away (but only get one) or follow the ego's plan to wait for the researcher to come back so they could have two treats.

When the researchers followed up with the kids years after the experiments, they found that the children who had been able to wait until the researcher came back to get their rewards (delaying gratification) often had better education and social outcomes (like higher SAT scores) than their peers who hadn’t been able to wait.