How Emotionally Intelligent Are You?

Emotional intelligence can play a role in life success. Let's assess your EQ.

Three men smile during group therapy.

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IQ has historically been the common framework for how we measure our intelligence, and traditional “book smarts” have always been treasured in our society.

However, the idea of emotional intelligence—or “EQ”—has risen to become an important way for us to think about how we interact with and relate to others. For some, it’s even more important than the kind of intelligence measured by IQ.

The Emotional Intelligence Test

If you’re curious about your own emotional intelligence or that of someone close to you, our fast and free EQ test can help you discover how emotionally intelligent you are.

Who Is This EQ Test For?

Our interactions with other people often determine how strong our friendships and relationships are, how self-confident we feel, and ultimately how happy and satisfied we are in our daily lives.

That said, this test is for anyone, really. Maybe you are struggling with some conflicts in your life and are wondering why, or are thinking about your emotional life for the first time.

Self-reflection is such a key component of emotional intelligence, so a test like this can be a great first step in your EQ journey.

About This EQ Test

Our test covers a range of social situations in which it may be critical to perceive the emotions of others and to manage your own. Your results are a measure of your responses to these specific situations, and may not reflect your overall EQ.

Additionally, our behavior in real-life situations does not always match how we might see ourselves behaving in theory. In the context of your daily life, you may in fact be more or less emotionally intelligent than your results suggest.

About Emotional Intelligence

The term “emotional intelligence” was coined in 1990 by psychology professors Peter Salovey and John D. Mayer, and the ideas around it have developed since then. The primary components of emotional intelligence are typically said to be:

  • Perceiving emotions
  • Reasoning with emotions
  • Understanding emotions
  • Managing emotions

You may be better with some of these skills than others, and you can learn to harness all of them better than you currently do.

If you’re not sure if or how you might utilize emotional intelligence in your life, here are some of the things in your life that emotional intelligence can help with:

  • Resolving conflicts
  • Supporting friends and loved ones with empathy
  • Listening and responding to others in helpful ways
  • Calmly accepting and delivering criticism
  • Knowing when and how to say “no”

By developing your emotional intelligence, you are essentially collecting tools that can help you respond to any situation, no matter how difficult.

How to Be More Emotionally Intelligent

It may seem like emotional intelligence is an inherent trait for a lot of people—and that may be true to some degree. But even those of us with low emotional intelligence have the ability to develop our skills in this area. Emotional intelligence training has shown to be effective in a workplace setting, for example.

So how do you actually go about becoming more emotionally intelligent? First, you need to be willing to put yourself into social situations, even ones that might be uncomfortable for you.

Commit to being a sounding board for a friend or coworker, and truly listen. Practice empathy by imagining yourself in their shoes and thinking about how you might be feeling in the same situation.

Finally, think about your interactions with others as often as you can. Notice how others respond to you when you act in certain ways. Try to think about how your emotions and theirs are changing, and how emotions are driving your actions. Before long, finding more emotionally intelligent ways to handle any situation in your life will come more naturally to you.

1 Source
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  1. Gilar-Corbi R, Pozo-Rico T, Sánchez B, Castejón JL. Can emotional intelligence be improved? A randomized experimental study of a business-oriented EI training program for senior managers. PLoS One. 2019;14(10):e0224254. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0224254

By Kendra Cherry, MSEd
Kendra Cherry, MS, is a psychosocial rehabilitation specialist, psychology educator, and author of the "Everything Psychology Book."